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EoMEoTE#9 – Harry Potter and the Maker of Fire

by Jeanne Horak on August 7, 2005 7 Comments in EoMEoTE

“Come on, Harry!” exclaimed Hermoine. “I knew that going to Hagrid’s cabin before afternoon classes was a mistake! We can’t possibly get back in time for the new professor’s class now.” There was a slightly manic glint in her eye that always made the boys uncomfortable. The last time they’d seen it was when Gilderoy Lockhart first came to teach at Hogwarts, which was hardly surprising as the new professor was rumoured to be even more swashbuckling that Lockhart. Harry looked at Ron, rolled his eyes, and they continued to dawdle along behind Hermoine, examining the box that Hagrid had given them. It was some sort of puzzle – nothing was ever simple with Hagrid – and he had carved into it the words Fry, poach, scramble or boil – but first to solve this you must toil!

“What do you think it means?” asked Ron. “I mean, ‘scramble’ could mean that we have to climb up somewhere high. And poach means we might have to steal something from Slytherin or… or… I don’t know.”  Harry didn’t reply – his mind was focused on next week’s Squidditch game.  After the EU had declared Quidditch an unsafe game for anybody under the age of 25, Hogwarts had been forced to disband its Quidditch teams and Harry sorely missed the thrill of the game.  The replacement, Squidditch, was safer but not nearly as much fun:  teams of students competing to cook the most tender calamari, using only magic.  Harry didn’t like the smell or the taste of the calamari – not to mention the awful stench when things went wrong. He was just wondering what to make for the big match next week when he was cruelly yanked back to reality by a blow to the head, followed by some rather apologetic flapping and hooting.  “Pigwidgeon!!” yelled Ron, “You clumsy bird!!  You nearly knocked Harry over!”.  Pigwidgeon hooted again, rather huffily, and made her weary way to the Owlery.  Ron bent down to pick up the parcel.  It contained the usual array of stuff – a hideous, chunky sweater knitted with a great deal of love my Mrs Weasley, a long letter, and some food – including a string of sausages.  “What good are those?” lamented Ron.  “I mean, we get food, we don’t have to make our own!”  Still grumbling, he proceeded to read the letter out loud.  “Blah blah blah… ‘and don’t forget Great-Aunt Winnifred’s birthday – it’s nearly the end of the month, you know!’  Where does she get this stuff from?” said Ron, shaking his head in despair as they entered the main Hogwarts building, just in time to meet their new Charms teacher.

Hermoine skipped into the classroom ahead of them.  Skipped??  Clearly, something was up.  What was up became apparent when their teacher entered the room.  He was male.  He was young.  He was dressed in khakhi shorts and he was very tanned. “Hello, class!” he boomed.  “My name is Tertius Van der Toor.  While Prof Flitwick is on sabbatical, I’ll be taking your Charms classes!”  Rather a lot of the girls in the class seemed to be rather flustered and blushing furiously.  Harry turned to Hermoine to poke fun at them and was horrified to find her staring at Prof Van der Toor with the same adulation as the other girls.  It was going to be a long class.  “Right,” boomed the professor, “let me tell you a bit about myself.  I am a South African wizard and I’m going to start by teaching you some of the charms you need to live in the veldt in Africa.”  All the girls were furiously taking notes. Harry was still trying to figure out Hagrid’s puzzle.  “You must remember, Africa is a harsh place.  I remember well the times I’d go out hunting with my trusty Limpopo Ringtail, Jock, and we’d be out there for days with nothing but rocks for pillows, the stars for a ceiling and our, ahem, considerable skill as hunters to keep body and soul together.”  “What the heck’s a Limpopo Ringtail?” asked Ron to no-one in particular.  “It’s a kind of magical hunting crocodile,” hissed back Hermoine, “don’t you ever do any extra reading??”

“Let’s start with this one, class.  Picture the scene.  You’re tired and cold and hungry.  You’ve been hunting all day with your trusty Ringtail, and finally you’ve managed to bag a springbok with your crossbow.  But the last thing you want to do is prepare the damn thing.  So what you need is a spell to get it from carcass to casserole without wasting too much time.  That’s why I perfected this little charm.”  With this, Van der Toor spun around and yelled “carbonarum!!” in the general direction of a large chunk of wood that was doing duty as a doorstop.  In an instant, the wood was a glowing chunk of charcoal – ashy on the outside and glowing red within.  Just perfect to sizzle some steaks on.  And as if on cue, Van der Toor produced some marshmallows and sticks and invited the class to enjoy the advantages of having an instant log fire in the classroom.  Everyone surged forward – everyone, that is, except Harry.  Inspiration had suddenly struck.  “Ron!  What was that your mother said in the letter – about Aunt Winnipeg or something?” “It’s Winnifred, actually” said Ron, “and she reminded me about her birthdday at the end of the month.”  “Exactly!  The end of the month!  Don’t you remember that spell that Hagrid taught us in our first year?  Let me think now… get the pronounciation right…  Eh – oh – meh – oh – teh…”  And as if my magic (hah!) Hagrid’s puzzle box opened up.

“What is it, what is it?” asked Ron as Harry slowly opened the lid.  “It’s, well, an egg” said Harry flatly.  “Maybe a phoenix egg?  Or a dragon egg??”.  “No, just a chicken egg” said Hermoine, who had torn herself away from the professor to come and see what they were doing and was now peering over Harry’s shoulder.  “All that drama – for an egg??” wailed Ron.  “You three back there!” boomed Van der Toor again, “What do you think you’re doing?”  “We were just…” started Hermoine when he cut her off. “Nobody plays the fool in my classes!  All three of you – out!  50 demerits for Griffyndor and no dinner for the three of you!  Off you go – get to your common room and stay there!”.  “But professor, it was all my fault…” started Harry.  “Now, now Potter, I won’t have you playing the martyr in front of your friends.  Off you go – all three of you – before I unleash another bushveldt spell!”

Sitting in the common room, dejectedly, half an hour later while everyone else was trooping down to another fabulous Hogwarts dinner, Hermoine and Ron were still bickering about whose fault it was that Prof Van der Toor had noticed them at the back of the class.  Harry was looking speculatively at Hagrid’s egg.  “Ron”, he asked, “did you say your mum sent you sausages?”  “Yes”, said Ron, “Why?”  “Well, I was just thinking…  you have sausages, I have Hagrid’s egg, and Hermoine, you always have some bread stashed away for toasting over the fire with tea.  Maybe we could, you know, give Van der Toor’s spell a try and get ourselves some dinner.  Now let’s see… if we put the bread down there, break the egg over it like this… yes, that’s right Ron, the sausages over there…  Now stand back!”  The other two needed no further invitation and dived behind the largest of the sofas as Harry aimed his wand directly at the plate and yelled “CARBONARUM!!”

There was rather a lot of smoke and some unsettling sizzling noises, but when the smoke cleared they were faced with a steaming plate of fried egg, toasted bread and ever-so-slightly blackened pork sausages.  “Aaaaaah, just like dad used to make in the back yard on summer evenings” said Ron as he munched happily on a sausage.  “Very nice, Harry” said Hermoine as she mopped up her perfectly runny yolk with a toast soldier, “but why does everything have that greenish-yellow cast to it?”  “Umm, I don’t know” admitted Harry, “but I suspect that I still have to learn the photoshopibus spell if I really want to get the hang of this lot…”

RECIPE

  1. Invite 14 people over to your house for a braai (BBQ) on Sunday afternoon.
  2. Cook enough meat to feed a small army. Feed the 14 people meat, bread, salads and dessert.  Add lots of wine some wine.
  3. Tidy up after they leave.
  4. Collapse on the sofa, exhausted.
  5. Revive at around 9pm, just long enough to fry some eggs and heat some leftover braai meat.  Serve.
  6. Repeat step 4.

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  1. Moira says

    August 9, 2005 at 8:29 pm

    CARBONARUM! Bwwaaahaaahaaaha…..brilliant!

    Reply
  2. Stephanie says

    August 9, 2005 at 10:13 pm

    *You* are briliant! Even I, having never read the books, got it. Wonderful…you brat.

    Reply
  3. Jeanne says

    August 10, 2005 at 1:17 pm

    Hi Moira
    Hahahaha indeed! Took a long time to come up with a word that had just the right amount of gravitas and yet meant something vaguely relevant…!
    Hi Stephanie
    Awww, *blush*, thanks!! Writing the post was like giving birth to a child – long, hard labour… 😉 And I have new respect for George Lucas & Revenge of the Sith. Very awkward to know where you have to end up and to try and pick a narrative way to there from where you find yourself, in a limited space/time!

    Reply
  4. Stephanie says

    August 10, 2005 at 6:12 pm

    But Jeanne…the difference between you and Lucas? You can actually write dialogue…(ouch!).

    Reply
  5. Kitchen Queen Tai says

    August 11, 2005 at 9:52 pm

    Thank you thank you thank you! I recieved your lovely parcel with foodiegoodies yesterday! Will write a (raving) review this weekend, lots of love from KQ Tai(na)

    Reply
  6. anthony says

    August 12, 2005 at 5:48 am

    Magic.
    Did Ron work out the boil bit because I’m hoping it wasn’t a painful, circumscribed pus-filled inflammation of the skin and subcutaneous tissue usually caused by a local staphylococcal infection.

    Reply
  7. Angelika says

    August 15, 2005 at 2:18 pm

    Hi Jeanne, I believe you know (via Johanna) that I read and like your blog…now here comes my quick note telling you that my own blog (first blog coming FROM Austria, directly..) is online: http://www.theflyingapple.typepad.com
    Looking forward to getting to know you personally in London soon, kind regards from Vienna (knowing that you have some emotional memories…)angelika
    P.S. How is Christelle ?

    Reply
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"Spring fever, my heart's beating fast. Get up, ge "Spring fever, my heart's beating fast. Get up, get out, Spring is everywhere" - Elvis Presley

What better way to celebrate the day when the clocks go forward to British Summer Time than with  a glorious photo of St Paul's Cathedral shyly peeping out from a cloud of pink cherry blossoms against a perfect blue sky! 🌸🌞

London is awash in glorious blossoms at the moment, from Greenwich Park in the east to Kew Gardens in the west, and the fun part is trying to catch each type of tree just when the blossoms are at their best.

The cherry plums have been exploding into clouds of small white blossoms and sweet fragrance for a few weeks already; and the early flowering cherry trees, camellias and magnolias are coming into their own right now. Plus we still have the late-flowering cherries, rhododendrons and wisteria to look forward to!

Do you have a favourite Spring tree or park for blossoms in London? Let me know in the comments 🌺

And please remember to share, save or like my posts if you want to see more of me in your feed 🙏
"The essence of being human is that one does not s "The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection" 

I wonder what the author if those words would have made of the age of Instagram? We are fed an endless stream of perfect images of perfect bodies and perfect lives. In the back of our minds we KNOW this is not reality, but still the subconscious yearning for this imaginary world of perfection persists. Humans are funny that way.

But so often in life, things fall short of the perfection we imagined - seemingly perfect relationships fail, cakes look nothing like the picture in the book, clothes that looked good on the internet look ridiculous on our bodies, the wrong turn we took meant we never got to our planned destination.

Falling short of perfection is part of life. The big question is how you deal with it. Do you throw your hands up in despair and berate yourself for failure? Or do you find the positives in the imperfect outcomes of your plans? 

This photo taken almost exactly 4 years ago was meant to be a "perfect" Instagram shot of me in my signature pose, on a perfect sunny day on snowy ski slopes. Instead, as @explorista snapped the photo, our ski instructor decided to throw handfuls of snow at me - but as it turns out, this "imperfect" shot turned out to be my favourite of the day 😍

Do you find joy in life's imperfections?
What's your favourite way to eat cauliflower? Up What's your favourite way to eat cauliflower? 

Up until about a week ago I would have said cauliflower cheese... but all that changed when I made this low-carb cauliflower steak Welsh rarebit... I first made cauliflower steaks years ago, before cauliflower started enjoying its 15 minutes of fame, as a main course for vegetarian friends. But it wasn't till last week when I wanted to make Welsh rarebit for St David's day and discovered I had no bread that it struck me that cauli steaks would make the perfect base for Welsh rarebit! It's totally indulgent - like pouring a beery cheese fondue over your cauliflower - and totally addictive. You can find the full recipe in the link in my profile,  or SAVE this post for basic instructions! Remember to tag me if you try it -I'd love to see 😊

* Slice two 1cm steaks vertically from the middle of a large cauliflower, season and fry in  butter and oil till browning slightly.

* Oven bake for 10 mins at 200C while you mix grated cheddar, melted butter, Worcestershire sauce, mustard and beer. (The Duvel Belgian ale works a charm, BTW!).

* Spread the cheese mix generously over the 2 steaks and pop under a medium grill until golden and bubbly

You're welcome 🤩
Dyed Gwyl Dewi Hapus - or happy St David's Day if Dyed Gwyl Dewi Hapus - or happy St David's Day if you don't speak Welsh 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

March 1 is the day on which the Welsh people celebrate their patron saint, St David, and one of their traditions is to wear a daffodil, the national flower of Wales. Here are five daffodil facts to impress your Welsh friends:

🌼 There's no difference between a daffodil and a narcissus. Daffodil (or jonquil) is simply the common name for members of the Narcissus genus, so all daffodils are narcissi.

🌼 There is only one species if daffodil that is native to the UK - Narcissus Pseudonarcissus, or wild daffodils. You can spot them by the fact that their outer 6 petals are a paler yellow than the central trumpet, and they are usually smaller than the showy, giant yellow commercially grown daffs. 

🌼 It's not entirely certain how the daffodil came to be the national flower of Wales - one theory is that they are one of the few flowers in bloom on 1 March. Another is that the daffodil is less... antisocial to wear than the other Welsh national symbol, the leek 🤣

🌼 Daffodils are the official 10th wedding anniversary flower.

🌼 Daffodils contain a poisonous sap - keep away from pets and if mixing daffodils in a vase with other flowers, let them stand in water separately for 24 hours first I case they affect the other flowers. 

Are daffodils your favourite Spring flower? Or do you prefer something else?
As a girl who lived more than half her life in the As a girl who lived more than half her life in the African sun, February and March are the hardest months for me to bear in the UK. All the excitement of Christmas and New Year has faded; the credit card bill has arrived; the sun is still setting before I finish work; and the snow that we all hoped for at Christmas finally arrives and disrupts everything. This is why, every year in Feb/March since I moved to the UK (other than the year I broke my femur a week before I was due to fly!), I decamp to South Africa for 2 weeks to visit my family and get my fix of vitamin D (and vitamin Sea!).

This week I should have been here - the Beacon Island hotel in Plettenberg Bay, which I have been visiting since I was about six years old. It is where I go to lift my spirits and clear my head. But for the last 2 years, Covid has meant that I have not been able to go home - or see my family. 

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But you can bet your bottom dollar that as soon as vaccinations are widely rolled out and international travel becomes practical again, I will be on a plane to South Africa so fast it will make your head spin.

Where will YOU head to first once we are able to travel again,  and why?
Love is in the air... 💕 Are you making a speci Love is in the air... 💕

Are you making a special dinner for your sweetheart tonight? This potted hot-smoked salmon with a pretty pink apple and red onion pickle is easy to prep and oh-so-delicious! It's also gluten-free if you serve it with GF crackers. Full recipe now on the blog - tap the live link on my bio to view. 

Are you doing anything special to celebrate today? Let me know in the comments! 💖
Ready for a wine tasting? 🍷 [Press trip] Back Ready for a wine tasting? 🍷

[Press trip] Back before Covid put our lives on hold, I spent a few days in the Languedoc-Rousillon wine region of France learning about (and tasting!) Pays d'Oc IGP wines. 

Want to learn more about the region's wines? Read on, swipe through the images (remember to  bookmark this post to refer back to later) - and click the live link in my bio for the full blog post! 

🍷 The Languedoc-Rousillon region is the largest wine producing region in the world, and produces about a third of all French wine. Pays d'Oc IGP is a classification region within Languedoc-Rousillon, with vineyards that take up over half the total vineyard area in the Languedoc-Rousillon region. Pays d'OC IGP wines account for about 20% of the total of all French wine produced.

🍷IGP stands for Indication Geographique Protegée, meaning it is a protected indication of origin and wines must be made only from approved grape varieties that must be grown entirely within the region's geographic boundaries.

🍷 Most French wines are named for their region (Bordeaux, Chablis, Champagne) but you won't see the name of the grape variety on the label. In response to consumer demand and the New World trend to label wines with grape varieties, rules were changed in Pays d'Oc in the late 1980s and Pays d'Oc wines now account for 92% of French varietal wines (e.g. labelled Chardonnay, Syrah, Viognier etc.).

🍷 There are 58 grape varieties that are allowed to be planted in the region but the Pays d'Oc IGP varietal wines to watch out for include Chardonnay, Rolle (another name for Vermentino) and Viognier among the whites; and Syrah, Mourvedre and Pinot Noir among the reds.

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First 📸: @everyglassmatters
New year's resolutions: waste of time or the way f New year's resolutions: waste of time or the way forward?

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🌈  ACT THE WAY YOU WANT TO FEEL 🌈

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What strategies do you use to lift your spirits? I'd love to hear! 

📸 by @tasteofsavoie
If you, like me, are mssing your Pret-a- Manger Bi If you, like me, are mssing your Pret-a- Manger Bircher muesli during lockdown, you will want to bookmark this post right now! 🔖

I have learnt a few things during lockdown. I have learnt that I am more comfortable spending long periods alone than I had ever imagined; that I suffer a lot more from FOMO (fear of missing out!) than I would like to admit; and that pre-Covid I spent rude sums of money on commuting and barista coffee...! 

I also learnt that although I miss travel and social events and meals out, it is often the smaller things that you miss most acutely - the freedom to call up a friend you haven't seen in a while and inviting them over. Hugging (or even seeing) my family. And grabbing a macchiato and a Pret Bircher muesli on the way to work. Don't ask me why, but it became a small obsession of mine to create a fakeaway Pret Bircher during lockdown - and I think I have succeeded! Here's how:

For 2 servings you will need:
100g rolled oats
200ml milk or water
1 Tbsp sunflower seeds
1 Tbsp pumpkin seeds 
1 Tbsp shelled pistachio nuts
1 Tbsp dried cranberries 
2 small apples
175g plain yoghurt
Honey
Pomegranate rails

Mix the oats, seeds, nuts and cranberries together then add the milk/water and a pinch of salt. Mix well, cover and refrigerate overnight. 

When ready to serve, grate the apples and mix them in with the oats and yoghurt (add a little extra milk to loosen if needed). Stir in honey to taste and serve topped with pomegranate arils and pistachios. Full recipe and more photos are available now on the blog - click the live link in my profile.

Did you try any fakeaway recipes over lockdown? Please let me know in the comments - I would love to hear about it!
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Jeanne Horak is a freelance food and travel writer; recipe developer and photographer. South African by birth and Londoner by choice, Jeanne has been writing about food and travel on Cooksister since 2004. She is a popular speaker on food photography and writing has also contributed articles, recipes and photos to a number of online and print publications. Jeanne has also worked with a number of destination marketers to promote their city or region. Please get in touch to work with her Read More…

Latest Recipes

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plum flapjack crumble
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